To Nitya,

Hola Amigo, or should I say Helllooooo Lady G or Lady-HAM or something else?

Well I beg your forgiveness in advance for my bad English in this letter.
(Please don't let Aarti Ma'am read it. 😭)

I spent more than 15 days to find every record of communication we had over the years. During this process I got to relive all those moments, even the ones where nothing was serious and the ones where nothing anything less than severely serious. I was trying to compile every record of communication (atleast the ones in chats because WhatsApp call ki transcript Markie nahi de raha tha na). But during this compilation process I realized something that this website/dossier/or whatever this was (yes, even I don't know what I was working on for these past 15–17 days 😭) can only show you certain memories, but they can't really tell you what they mean to me. So I thought of writing this letter.

Don't You dare say ki I'm copying you or I am a copycat (Stabby Stabby Duck Sticker insert), because I'm not. Isko Inspiration lena bolte hain!!!

Well I am really struggling to write this yaar. But I want to let you know what it was like to have you in my life.

Before I start, I wanna let you know how it was before.

• Before lockdown, I was in a group where I was technically a member, but it never really felt like I belonged there. Even though I had pretty good friendships with people like Ved, Mayank and even Ansh Singh, I always felt like a weirdo. I used to get defensive whenever someone pointed out my mistakes, and I genuinely believed I knew everything. (I didn't know shit... but still way more than the current gen and my classmates—but you get my point, right? 😭.) I don't know why I was like that, but I was.
• Lockdown was a bad experience for most people, but for me it was like going down a rabbit hole. It was during that time that I realised what was happening in my own family, what some of my relatives had done in the past, and a lot of things I had never noticed before. At the same time, I was obsessed with joining the Army, especially the Special Forces, so I started pushing myself physically and mentally to develop the qualities I thought I needed. (Yes... the 7–10 days without sleeping. Don't kill me. 😭)

With everything happening at once, I slowly started losing trust in people I once trusted blindly. I also convinced myself that emotions were a weakness. Somewhere along the way, I lost my natural smile. I hated getting my pictures clicked, got scolded for always looking serious (haan... pita bhi hoon 😭), and by the time I came back to school, I had become so used to faking a smile or laugh that it just felt normal.

Now after... or more like when I met you, it started with simple classmates wali conversations. Zyada farak nahi padta tha, but after 10th and initial part of 11th, when we had our group and we started talking more, things slowly changed. It was still mostly school-related, but it was fun. It was also the time I literally wanted to trust you and talk to you about anything, but I didn't want to be betrayed again. So I kept my trust limited to Aadya only. But as time passed, we talked more, I got to know you, and I realised that even the cool and fun kids have problems of their own. I knew that before... but I didn't really understand it until then.

I started trusting you. And you know... while talking to you, I never felt like an outcast or anything. You accepted me the way I was (not like you could've got a different version anyway 😭), and that meant so much to me that you probably don't even realise it. I was finally ready to talk about things I didn't want to talk to anyone else about. And I genuinely think I'm a better person today than I was before. There's still a lot left to accomplish, but the credit for that mostly goes to you.

I have said this before and I am saying this again...

I OWE YOU FOR THAT!!

Okay... enough for this talk.

Abb mudde ki baat:

1. Don't you dare ghost me or forget me after you leave.
2. Skeleton ki pic is a must.
3. Real-time updates required.
4. No life-threatening activities (Without me).
5. You better keep your sleep cycle maintained for as long as you can
6. We believe in you, and if you ever doubt yourself or just have a bad day, don't you dare even think of calling us. JUST PICK YOUR PHONE AND DIAL IT WITHOUT THINKING. (Bas galat insaan ko call mat laga diyo. 😭)
7. I wanna know about everything you guys do in college.
8. I better know the specifics of wherever you're gonna be. Kya pata I decide to fly there and we just go on a road trip.
9. Whenever you visit during holidays, at least one meeting is mandatory, as mentioned in the Duckish Rule Book.
10. We believe in you and trust you (me blindly). So go and absolutely kill it.
11. I remember your doggo. Just don't forget to tell me when you want one. I'll get you one, but I demand some quality time with that cutu.
12. If you ever need any help, just tell me. I'll help in whatever way I can.
13. And last, but definitely not the least... take care of yourself.

Byrrr, Idiota.